i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this boner is exhausting
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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