I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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