Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
