if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
