We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
