Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
