I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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