I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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