you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
