Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
