Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
