she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
