I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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