Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
