Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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