everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
