found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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