Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
