This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
