That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were trust falling into bushes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
