How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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