Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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