i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
