Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
