jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
