Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
