he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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