ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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