If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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