Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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