On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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