You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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