Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
