If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
