Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
