Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
