So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
