my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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