I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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