im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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