Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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