the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
