I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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