Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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