so explain again why im purple
no
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
