Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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