I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
