ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
