party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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