Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
