big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
