I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
