Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
